The past two years and 10 months have definitely not been a wasted nor a mistake. Yes…when we moved out here to Arizona I had a lot of options. I could come with my family or I could go to school. I choose to come….I mean seriously, where else could I learn what I have learned here. Of course, I didn’t know that back then. I only knew that God had called and that I must answer. And I wouldn’t trade the time I have spent here, especially in the past 10 months…for anything.
It hasn’t been an easy journey, but then life is rarely easy.
I never realized how much fear I actually had until I had to face those fears. I remember the days of knee-shaking, trembling fear. It truly is true that “perfect love casts out fear” and “there is no fear in love” for the more I realize of my Redeemer’s love for me the less I fear. It really is amazing how much fear you can develop suddenly, or how much you can uncover that you never knew you had.
I never realized how totally weak I am until I was placed in situations way beyond my capabilities. The sense of nothingness, of inability is quite overpowering. And I never realized how strong my God is and how sufficient His grace really is until I chose to quit trying and let Him work His work through me.
So often I’ve wondered why God did what He did. Why He called me to do things I never dreamed possible. And then I look back over the past few years and I see lessons learned, experiences I wouldn’t trade, and memories to treasure for a lifetime. I see choices…both bad and good, but most importantly I see miracles. Miracles both in my life and in the lives of others.
It wasn’t until we moved here that I really understood the meaning of service. It wasn’t until I had to do things I didn’t want to do, that I learned that God’s directions are always best. It wasn’t until I tried to teach what I didn’t possess that I realized that I didn’t possess it. So often we get caught up in ourselves. We loose sight of the vision God has for us. And sometimes it takes life-altering action to change that.
And so today I’m thankful for a God who never changes. Who doesn’t give up until there is no hope left and then He still keeps pressing on. I’m thankful for One who, even when I tried to live life on my own, didn’t give up on me. I could write a whole other post on just simply the past five months, but I’ll save that for another time.
Just remember that even when the outlook looks dim, even when you don’t understand, even when you’re at your lowest, God is still on the throne. Sometimes you simply have to trust.
God didn’t promise days without pain,
laughter without sorrow,
sun without rain;
but He did promise strength for the day,
comfort for the tears,
and light for the way.