Countless beauty 

This world is full of beauty. Beautiful people, beautiful nature, beautiful things. And yet, we seem to miss so much. Perhaps because our idea of beauty is limited to what is easy to see, but it could be just because we don’t know how to look. 
Perhaps what is hardest to see is what is actually most beautiful…. 
How He walks with me in darkness. 
How beauty will rise from destruction and ashes. 
How pain itself holds evidence of Grace. 
How the shattering is simply a prelude to His restoring. 
Perhaps it is in the stumbling and falling and trying over and over again that God makes beautiful things of my life. 
If there were no struggle there would be no victory. 


Of Brokenness and Healing

Sin is a ravaging disease. It batters us, it turns us into bruised and bleeding souls.
But God stands ready to heal. God wants to heal.
And He does. He’s healing me. But I am still broken. And this process of healing isn’t easy.

It hurts to be pressed down to the grinding wheel. It hurts to be purified by fire. The broken shards of my life poke, scrape, and scratch at each other and at me, and they hurt too.

I grow weary of waiting. I question; wonder why this takes so long.
I’ve been here before.

I want to glorify Him. I want to give this world a true picture of my Redeemer.
And this is why the process is long. In the process I can glorify Him.

Of course God could utter one word and I could be whole. But if He did that then I would miss the lessons He seeks to teach me. I would miss the journey that He’s taking me on.

Still I cry. Still this hurts. But tears cleanse, and fire purifies, and God gently goes deeper still.
His purification is complete. His healing is too. He does nothing halfway.

And so I learn in this journey that He is good. That I am loved. That He is faithful. That He is enough. Little by little I trust enough to let go of yet another lie, another insecurity, another shattered piece. When I do, He transforms it. And I can learn to give Him more.

There is no crown before the cross.